9.22.2012

The Master: Review


By Spence Blazak

            Why do people actually join cults? It is a question that always lingers in our minds whenever a cult is featured on the news or when Tom Cruise jumps on a coach while talking about how pain doesn’t exist. There are plenty of answers: the person could be sick, coming off a traumatic hardship, or hurt and in need of a life line. Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master utilizes all of these motivations under a unifying and relatable theme for all people: when life kicks you down, you need an answer, and sometimes anything will do.
The Master follows the story of Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix), a sex obsessed sailor trying to make his way after the end of World War II. At first finding work as a mall photographer, Freddie’s alcoholism, Hulk-level anger issues, and mental illness soon get him fired and out on the road.
Freddie goes through a few odd jobs before stowing away on the boat of Lancaster Dodd (Phillip Seymour Hoffman). A doctor, writer, boat captain, philosopher, and scientist, Dodd has given himself the nickname “Master.” He has written and begun giving out copies of his book called The Cause, an idea that can be as much or as little like Scientology as your interpretation desires, and brings Freddie on board the crew of this new “religion” he is trying to spark.
With the release of The Master, we have several interesting exterior factors that are pumping up the hype surrounding its release. Writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson’s last movie, 2009’s There Will Be Blood was considered by many esteemed critics to be among the decade’s best films, and The Guardian just ranked him as the best working director in the world. Also at play is the anticipation of Joaquin Phoenix’s return to film after his highly publicized stunt where he claimed that he was retiring from the acting business to grow a beard and become a rapper. To each his own.
Anderson’s camera makes no mistakes and doesn’t rely on any accidents for the beauty of its shots. In the opening few shots of Freddie on the beach, the background is filled with sailors wandering adrift on the beach, the hot off-white sand, and the lucid blues of the ocean. His camera focuses in and out on multiple focal points within the same shot, truly never wasting a single one. He retains his spot as one of the most aesthetically pleasing art house directors in the business.
The acting throughout is phenomenal, in particular by both Phoenix and Hoffman whose names will be thrown around quite a lot this upcoming Oscar season, but the real mastery here is how interesting the characters they portray are. The first moment you see Hoffman’s Master on screen, he is dancing in the background of a shot focused on Phoenix, yet the energy he gives off is so overpowering that it is really the only fitting way to introduce a character so larger than life.
As far as the character of Freddie, he is the key to interpreting the film. The last shot brings everything full circle, and to get to the bottom of what everything means, walking in Freddie’s shoes and throwing him a bone of empathy finishes off what is a powerful film going experience.
The moment that keeps being flashed back to is Freddie on the beach in the Pacific with a sand castle shaped like a woman. For some reason, him with his arm around her keeps being shown again and again, and that is where the film’s heart lies. What does Freddie want? Someone to love him, respect him, and most importantly, tell him what to do. The cult itself is his woman in the sand. When people point out the ideological flaws in the cult’s structure, Freddie doesn’t know how to react and simply beats them up. He doesn’t want to admit to himself how insane the cult is. He just wants a purpose.
The Master isn’t the reach of near cinematic perfection that Paul Thomas Anderson’s previous works were, and its long run time can be a bit trying at points, but all in all, once the Oscar season really gets going, The Master will be near the front of the pack.
If Winter’s Bone is a two-and-a-half star-er, and There Will Be Blood is a four star-er, then The Master gets three-and-a-half stars. 

9.19.2012

Spence Vs. The Rutgers Bus System (SPOILER: He loses)







By Spence Blazak

I don't ask for much out of my life. I just want a Diet Coke every day, to go to outer space at some point, meet Taylor Swift, and date a Kardashian for six weeks. I'm just like any other red blooded American male. Something that has been holding me back from this Gatsby-esque American Dream is the Rutgers Bus System.

I hate the bus. Hate, hate, hate it. Hearing its growl down the street makes me feel like the Grinch when he hears the Whos down in Whoville on Christmas Eve. Today, fair Wookiee fans, it is your lucky day. In the average week, I get a wide array of bus horror stories that are generally just heard by either my roommates or the sorry sacks of crap that happen to be right next to me when I get off of a EE. I yell these yarns. Frequently. And without further ado….a week in the life of a public transportation slave.

-------THE GREENHORN
I have perfected my game face for the bus. I don't want you to talk to me, and dammit, you aren't going to. Sadly, the average freshman greenhorn hasn't gotten a hold of this concept yet. Sitting, listening to Maroon 5, and minding my own P's and Q's, a pointed digit taps me on the deltoid. I lower my headphone, making my best Squidward face, wondering what I could be needed for. 

"Can I sit here?"

What.

I respond: "….Knock yourself out"

The rest of the bus was empty.

-----SON OF THE GREENHORN 
I am sitting, waiting for the accursed Busch/Cook Express Bus (the REXB) at a Busch Bus Stop. My iPod is pumping "California Love" by 2Pac, so I'm feeling pretty awesome. Then, a kid taps me on the shoulder. 

Kid: "Yo, boy, do ya think I can, uh, catch one of those REXL buses here?"

The Livingston/Cook Express……he is asking me if you can get on one at Busch……

Me: "You'll see."

-----THE D-BAG FLIRT
I find myself, yet again, on the EE. A frat bro with surfer dude sunglasses and a LAX pinnie sits next to me. He starts flirting with the girl in front of him by nervously saying "You're in my Bio class, right?" I give him 75 seconds to blow it. I then look at his personalized pinnie name………..It says "MEATSPIN." In the words of my catchphrase that I'm trying to make stick, now I've seen everything. 

On a side note, he blows it in about 58 seconds.

-----THE ROTC FLIRT
My iPod dies, and I'm stuck reading Catching Fire. Behind me, a kid starts flirting with a girl. Innocent enough, except that they are both yelling their conversation, and I can't help but listen to the entirety of it for the 15 minute bus ride back to my apartment. I hear everything about their major, their opinions on sports, how the guy lives in Woodville in South Jersey, how the girl is from East Bumble, Pennsylvania, and how they both enjoy Michael Jackson. At one point there girls says: "I didn't want to live on College Ave, because why would I want to shit where I eat?" May God have mercy on this generation.

I want to put a pen in my leg by the time I get off. 

Flashforward 3 days. I'm waiting at the bus stop for the EE, but it will be a few minutes. After a moment or two, a kid next to me, seeing my ironic 2012 NFC Championship long sleeve tshirt, asks me for the conclusion of the Big Blue game the night before.

"Oh, uh, it ended with 41-34 in favor of the Giants. Great game."

"Ah, shit, I'm an Eagles fan, but good for you."

Pushing down my immediate hatred, I realize that his voice sounds familiar…….hmm, curious. 

He then goes on to tell me about his hometown: Woodville, New Jersey. He asks if I've ever heard of it, and I say yes. Surprised, he inquires where I had heard of the small town.

I then have a dramatic and gargantuan flashback……..I had heard it from HIM on the bus a few days before. I tell him: "uh……sports….." My world just got way too small.

He then goes on to talk about sports with me, and I'm just waiting for him to tell me all the things I heard him say to that girl: he likes the Flyers and doesn't like baseball because there isn't enough contact. He says EXACTLY this. I'm living in a Twilight Zone episode. 

We get to his stop and he departs, but I will never forget this time when I, Spence Blazak…..knew the future. I should have gotten some lottery numbers.





This post is dedicated to my friend Ruthie on her birthday, someone whose hatred for the bus system really and truly knows no bounds. In a beautiful way.




9.10.2012

The Week I Got Sick...and Conquered the World


By Spence Blazak

I believe it was the philosopher Descartes who once said, "To be sick is human, to be sick and play NCAA 13 is divine." I think that was him….or maybe he was the guy who said "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR." Who knows.

The last week of summer: the stuff of legend and the setting for many an American Pie sequel. On my friend Dave's last night in town, I got a bad case of the sick, entrapping me in the deep recesses of my domicile. I had six days before I flew south for the winter and returned to Rutgers.

And so began the tale of the five things I did during the week i didn't leave my house.

5. Top Chef
-I wake up at 6 AM, hallucinating that there is an otter in my bed. I kick it off, before realizing it is my kitten. I then stare at the wall for 45 minutes, in a sick daze. I make my move to the living room and decide to turn on my new television obsession: Bravo reality shows.

Crossing my fingers, hoping, praying that Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles will be on, I frown as I see the opening graphic for Top Chef: Texas. Then my life stops. Maybe its the ibuprofen, but I'd like to think its from Padma Lakshi's glorious face: her slender facial structure, her chocolate brown eyes, the way she tells some Asian guy his souflet is shit. Then I pass out. I wake up hours later in the middle of another episode, where the Asian guy is voted off. I sit and ponder how he lasted this long. Hm. Another mystery.

4. The Republican National Convention
-I watch all 4 hours of Morning Joe's coverage of the RNC pre game show. They have very little to talk about aside from a single clip of Mitt Romney walking into his hotel saying "I think the convention will be great!" This clip is played 8 times before I go back to sleep.

3. Analyze The Hunger Games
-Since I can only watch so much of Mitt Romney saying nothing, I decide to turn to a copy of the novel The Hunger Games. Looking for a way to spice it up a little bit, I keep a close eye for typographical errors. After finding two, I no longer feel like a man…..but a god! A very sick god.

2. Read a sad forum on Grantland
-For those of you who don't know Grantland, imagine this blog, but it came out a few weeks after W.W…..and they are actually successful. Last week, they did a poll about what was the best sequel of all time. Pretty standard fare, until a mailbag was introduced where people tried to determine if Silence of the Lambs was a sequel to Maneater or a stand alone work. It was easily 3,000 words long, and I, Spence Blazak, sacrificed my dignity by reading the entire thing. It was neck beard vs neck beard, with all contributors probably sending in their witticisms via the desktop in their mom's garage. I've truly seen the bottom of the world.

1. Won the Heisman
-The greatest accomplishment of the week, indubitably. Renting NCAA 13 for Xbox from the library (you read that correctly), I was on a mission from God to win the Heisman in Heisman mode. You can take one of a select group of former trophy winners and put them on any school you want. Since Tim Tebow had to be paid for, I put off my dream a little longer of putting Timmy on Morehead State and riding the glory train to a Rose Bowl victory. Instead, I put Robert Griffin III on Rutgers.

I play through virtually the whole season before reaching the sad conclusion that I am in third place for Heisman voting behind two randomly generated characters. The last game of the regular season, I go up against Syracuse and throw for, by some divine intervention, 9 touchdowns and 700 yards winning the Heisman, the coveted Heisman Xbox achievement, and the hearts of millions.

Where is my coaching job for Rutgers?! I got us to a Fiesta Bowl win! All I need is……Robert Griffin III.

Epilogue
-I'm not really sure how to end this vivid tale of sickness and a man at his breaking point, so I'll just leave you with this quote about the sick from Rodney Dangerfield: "My mother had morning sickness the day after I was born!"

Thank you, and good night!