Was the Zach Galifianakis Cover Story In Rolling Stone Written by God?

by Spence Blazak

I know this isn’t exactly a movie, but it kind of sort of has to do with movies and I’m the one with the blog SO SHUT UP. This also isn’t as much a review as it is a recommendation. I just wanted to take a minute to do a quick piece on one of the greatest bits of journalism I’ve ever read: The Zach Galifianakis cover story from the mid-June issue of Rolling Stone. I know it seems like I frequently toss around the prepositional phrase “of all time” (usually preceded by things like “that talking cat is the funniest thing” or “Cheap Trick is the best crappy band”) and frankly, thats because I do. Nevertheless, it just might be one of the funniest articles.....of all time.

The article is a character profile of Galifianakis, one of the best comics of our time. It starts off with a few forays into the real Galifianakis, whose humor lies in his dead pan expression as he says phrases taut with anti-humor (“I was looking for a place to sleep this week, and my friend told me I could crash on her futon. I said that I had a rule to never sleep on anything that rhymes with crouton.”) or horribly hilarious insults to people he doesn’t know (he says to Bruce Willis, “When you were making The Whole Ten Yards.....were you ever worried that it would be too good?”).

With these traits alone, it makes no sense that this guy could be likable, and yet somehow he is. The article captures how Galifianakis gets away with being this way through his child-like charm, and it reveals his persona in brilliant fashion. I’ve always been intrigued by the breakdown of celebrity psyches (my favorite examples of Stone’s in depth profiles were on Michael Cera, Ke$ha, and Jeff Bridges [they almost make up for the two decades of haughty crappiness that plagues the other sections of the magazine AM I RIGHT?!]), and this one is enthralling.

The article is peppered with some of Galifianakis’s best shtick, including a racist joke so funny that I shot coffee from my nose....and I was drinking Mountain Dew (if I typed it here, I would completely ostracize 90% of the blogs meager fan base), and a side-splitting story from Hangover co-star Bradley Cooper. When his longtime girlfriend broke up with him, Cooper called up Galifianakis to break him the news and hoped for some consoling words. All Galifianakis says is, “Oh. Did she see Limitless?”

The article is truly solid gold. I took a week to read it just so I could make it last longer. When I finally got to the last page, the article completely changes tone. The serious side of Galifianakis is portrayed in a Holden Caulfield-esque vein that takes the article from a 10 to an 11 (on the scale of 1 to 10). I don’t want to ruin too much, even though I already have, but seriously, read this article if you enjoy things that are comical or just plain good. 4 out of 4 stars.