War Horse: Review

By Spence Blazak

Stephen Spielberg, the closest thing America has to royalty in the realm of entertainment, released two new movies this week. Im assuming this was to make up for the depressing piece of awful that was Indiana Jones 4. One of those movies is War Horse, based on the play that is Broadway's hottest non-Book of Mormon/Wicked ticket. War Horse is as old fashioned as it gets: boy gets horse, boy loses horse, horse becomes main character of the movie! Between cinematography that makes an Ansel Adams photograph look like a picture of the back of my head, a horse so lovable that it makes Lassie look like an evil ex-girlfriend, and Irish brogues so charming that they make Frank McCourt seem as homely as an IRA member, War Horse is not too shabby.

A young boy named Albie on the English country side raises a horse named Joey on his parent's farm. His father is the town drunk, and his wicked landlord is constantly trying to pluck the land out from under his nose. Albie's only chance to save the farm is to teach Joey how to plow, plant seed in the new field, and save the day! One thing leads to another, and everything goes wrong, causing Albie's father to sell Joey to the war effort. Joey's adventure takes him through all of the war, showing both sides of the battlefield as well as the bourgeoisie of the French countryside.

I'll break this down piece by piece. The first 25 minutes, for me, were just short of unwatchable. The sweeping vistas of the farm land are beautiful, but watching Albie try to feed an apple to that freaking horse for 5 minutes made me wish that I was in the trenches of World War I. On top of that, you know you're in trouble when the comic relief comes in the form of a squawking goose. I felt like I was watching Charlotte's Web…..the version with Julia Roberts as Charlotte. Also, the unbearably long sequence of Albie falling in the mud because he can't get the plow to work was only saved by Spielberg adding a "plow cam." Its pretty awesome.

Then everything changes when Joey goes to war. Just after his father has sold Joey, Albie cries and begs the military officer to let him keep his horse. The officer puts his hand on Albie's shoulder, telling him he will take Joey as his personal horse. He promises Albie that he will see his friend again. I lost it. As utterly stupid as the beginning is, after that moment I was completely sold.

The war scenes are shot with precision that is short of the excellence that Saving Private Ryan achieved, but ahead of the scope that the majority of war movies reside in. Breathtaking cinematography, performances from the old fashioned school of acting, and camera shots in the style of the old John Ford movies keep Spielberg standing tall with the best directors around.

Is it too corny at parts? Without a doubt. As distracting as it is, at a certain point it won't matter anymore, and all you will care about is seeing Joey get home. If a two star movie like this is Flags of Our Fathers and a four starer is Saving Private Ryan, then War Horse gets an admirable three stars.