Regarding the Perfection of "Die Young" by Ke$ha

By Spence Blazak

Every now and then a song comes along that changes the way people listen to music, behave, AND LIVE. The most recent composition to fulfill these requirements is none other than Ke$ha's "Die Young." It is a song that, as Dick Clark would say "Has a good beat and is easy to dance to! Hot dog!" and as Soul Train's Don Cornelius would say, "Is filled with peace, love, and soul." To get to the bottom of why this song is just so damn great, I went to a place that is the absolute heart of the dance music scene….a random basement party at Rutgers. I got a few quotes from these "wild and crazy guys and gals" about just what it was that made this song so….perfect.

"Its not T.I., but I can dig it"

-Whitey White

"I just…feel like I could go to Make Out City with someone I hate when this song is on!"

-Alonzo Neckbeard

"I'm not saying its Mozart……but possibly the Rachmaninoff #3. "

-Kippa Santo Domingo 

"I am having an existential crisis at the fact that I like this song. I feel like I should join a convent, become a eunuch, or buy a time share in Belmopan."

-Qdoba Borgotta 

"I hate myself, but this song makes me hate myself less. Wait…or maybe more. I don't know. I ate something I found under the sink. Do you have any Gatorade?"

-Heathcliff Wumbology

"It distracts me from the fact that I'm dancing with a hood rat!"

-Marilyn Monroe

"I'm just glad that hoes have a good role model in Ke$ha. She is the best."

-Amanda Rwanda

"If this song was playing while I was dying, well, I'd be alright with that."

-Millie Kahleekeemocka

"Where am I?"

-Diego Mojito 

"Die young, I just love the message, mostly because I have a crystal in my hand that will explode when I hit 25! Who wants to dance AND DIE YOUNG!?"

-Momma Llama 

Get ready to see these quotes on the sides of cabs everywhere!