The Avengers: Review. Don't Worry, No Spoilers.

By Spence Blazak

If you don't LOVE superheroes…..feel free to skip to paragraph 4.

Being a nerd is a lot like being a Red Sox fan. They tell you the team is going to win the World Series, they have a stellar season, then September comes and the team rolls over and dies. That's kind of like what Marvel does. They release Spiderman (which brought superheroes into the mainstream for people who don't read comics, pleasing illiterate second graders everywhere), they release Spiderman 2 (which rights the wrongs that Marvel causes their 2000's audiences with the mediocre X-Men series, awful Hulk adaptation, and puke inducing Daredevil travesty by creating the first deep character analysis in a superhero movie, while also kicks ass), then they plague the world by dropping the ball in the disappointing finale (this horrid clip from Spiderman 3 haunts my dreams to this day).

Spiderman 3 was like that last day of the Red Sox 2011 season when they lost to the Orioles and missed the playoffs. They also took the Fantastic Four and created two movies so bad that they have spent the last 7 years trying to convince humanity that they never happened. That's like when the Red Sox lost to the Yankees in Fenway's 100th anniversary.

Despite all this, when The Avengers was announced I had faith. Iron Man had the sublime character development that comic films mostly lack, Thor was a live action cartoon in the best possible way, and Captain America was perfect. The Hulk had been recast (it works with Marvel movies and it works with New Jersey politics: when in doubt, GET A NEW HULK), and even though the heavy handed crap that was Iron Man 2 undid all of my faith in Marvel's integrity, I was still optimistic about The Avengers.

I'm here to report to you, fellow nerds, that all is right in the world, and it is the movie that you wanted. I will keep my actual analysis of the flick brief so as to avoid any spoiler alerts, but trust me, action movies will never be the same. In a good way.

Joss Whedon's work as writer/director is what makes the movie, holds it together, and makes it something completely different. He knows his audience, what it wants, and where his predecessors have failed. How has no one done this this well before? He takes the best bits of all of the movie "prequels" and combines them into an action movie like no other.

He takes Thor's ability to not take itself too seriously (as well as utilizing a few classically trained Shakespearean actors like Tom Hiddleston as Loki). Also at use is the inspiring, earnest core of Captain America that gives the audience a powerful moral drive without being corny. Whedon also works in smart dialogue in the vein of Iron Man that doesn't talk down to the audience, while getting you to love that bastard Tony Starke. Most importantly, Whedon realizes the secret to dealing with the cinematic cancer known as the Hulk: DON'T. USE. HIM. CONSTANTLY. The character is a textbook supporting man. Bruce Banner only hulks-up only twice, and steals the show both times.

The movie is structured perfectly. It gives the audience all of the freshness of an origin story without the beating-a-dead-horse exposition. The Avengers has had about 5 movies of exposition, and doesn't waste any time jumping into the story. The film is centered around 2 larger-than-life battle sequences which set the new bar for CGI fighting (Imagine Transformers without the shitty). The other brilliant feat of ingenuity that Whedon introduces to the action movie? Making the non-action sequence parts, wait for it, NOT BORING. The characters are so much fun that the audience happily wants to sit around and have a beer with the gang. So what if we have to wait a while for an alien worm thing! THOR IS A RIOT!

Other things: Stan Lee's cameo is one of the funniest ones he has had yet in a Marvel movie (I probably laughed at it for the wrong reason….but you can decide that for yourself). Also, stay ALL the way after the credits. There are two extras hinting at the things to come for The Avengers series.

In closing, of course The Avengers still has those silly one-liners that plagues the action genre, but I'll be honest…I think those cheesy lines give action movies their charm. Where would Return of the Jedi be without this gem? And what is a movie without whispering something snarky into the ear of the stranger next to you?

I hate to be the guy who gives out 4 star reviews all the time, but The Avengers deserves it and then some for its trailblazing awesomeness. Besides, if you can make a movie that makes a 6' 5'' 220 lbs hairy man feel like a kid again, I'll give you four stars too.

Four out of four stars.