Spence Delves into the Artistic Black Hole Known as Cover Bands (and an End of the Year Reflection)

By Spence Blazak

As I sit packing up my dorm to leave for home, I remember. I remember hundreds of moments: the girl who peed in my bed, realizing that I had arachnophobia and reenacting the unmade action movie Spence vs. the Spiders from Space, my brilliant April Fools prank on Wookiee Wednesday fan Nick where I went into his room and waited for him naked while he was gone brushing his teeth, and watching the entirety of How I Met Your Mother (but more on that later this week). I'll miss a lot of things, but most all, I'll miss that girl from upstairs who I talked to once but who I totally know would have loved me if she knew how many Hawaiin shirts I have.

Ha.I kid. Well…not really, but anyway, I will definitely miss practicing with my world class pop punk band Girls Suck So We're Gay Now. In our off months, I've decided to start brainstorming a new direction for the band to go, and I have it: being several different cover bands.Imagine it. The show stops and I announce "Now we will be taking off our Bob Dylan band 'hat' and putting on our Cheap Trick band 'hat'"  And what is a cover band without a funny cover band name? Here are, without further ado, some of the best ideas I've ever had.

U2------Mew2

Green Day----------Mauve Fortnight

5 For Fighting---------2 For Flinching

Jack White------------Jack Black

Train----------Plain

"She acts like summer and walks like PLAIN!"

Yellowcard--------BirthdayCard

Insane Clown Posse--------Level-Headed Carney Conglomerate

LMFAO-------------IDKmyBFFjill

Blink 182---------------Blink 183

Flo Rida------------Newj Ersey…close second was "Ma Ine"

Taylor Swift------------Mr. Swift

-I have a standup bit I've been tinkering with where I come on stage with a guitar and say:

     "Hey there! I've just returned from a far away place: the future. It's a beautiful place. Robots are chill guys, trees can talk, The Hobbit is as good as you wanted it to be, and Taylor Swift is dating, heh, yours truly. Then I went further into the future and something horrible happened…our relationship had ended and the song she wrote about me had hit the top of the charts. It was called 'Hairy Heart.' I'm here to perform it for you now….."