Spence's Top Trending Jokes During the Superbowl

By Spence Blazak

-Yelling "Go Scarlet Knights!" or "Go Browns!"

-Trying to bet someone that Usher would randomly appear uninvited like last year

-Referring to Usher as "Ursher" ala Ludacris in "Yeah"

-Referring to Madonna as "Lady Gaga"

-Complaining that Tom Brady didn't have long hair anymore, so he had nothing to make fun of….except his perfectness.

-Making jokes about Pepsi Max

-Drinking Coke Zero to cancel out all the bad karma of the 1,000 Pepsi Max commercials

-Saying the phrase "everything after the Animal Planet Puppy Bowl" is a disappointment

-Being mad that the premiere of Smash wasn't on until the Monday AFTER the Superbowl

-Yelling #YOLO after doing very inconsequential things, i.e. getting some dip for my pretzels

-"HENRY HYNOSKI FOR MVP!"

-As anyone who knows me knows, my dream job above all else is to be a front page headline writer for the New York Post. In honor of the Giants' win, I've composed a list of the top few headlines I would have made. Also, I've made a list of the headlines I would have put if the Patriots had won and I worked for the Boston Globe.

If Patriots Won:

"Honkytonk Ba-GRONK-a-GRONK"

"Will the Real Slim BRADY, Please Stand Up"

"The Lord of the RINGS"

"RING, RING!"

"One Ring Away from Needing to Go to the Next Hand!"

"Welker, Texas Ranger"

"Its all about the BENJARVUS"

"Deon Branch isn't still on the Seahawks?"

"Everybody PATRICK CHUNG tonight!"

Giants Win:

"One does not simply GRONK into Mordor!"

"Bill Beli-CHECK PLEASE!"

"Tom Coughlin Smiles!"

"Speed 2: CRUZ Control"

"ROLLE Out!"

"The 'J.P.P. Won't Let Me Be!'-Tom Brady" ("Without Me" by Eminem…..this one was a bit of a stretch)

"Manning-H.A.M."

"Let Sleeping Dogs ELI"

"Hey, Giselle! SPENCE IS SINGLE!"