2.29.2012

Spence and Brian's Oscar Commentary Part 2


By Spence Blazak and Brian Long

Half the jokes don't make sense, we did it on Facebook chat, THIS IS REAL

Check out Part 1 here
  • Brian Danger Long
    • "I rio on a bus to Niagra falls and it made me wanna shoot my dick off!"-Ben, not a controversial opinion

    • They are doing a real crap job of picking good dialogue for these screenplay awards

  • Spence Blazak
    • i hate talking birds HATE THEM

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I didn't see this movie, say something clever about it.

  • Spence Blazak
    • what movie?

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I..guess you're not there yet...the descendants

  • Spence Blazak
    • LOOKS LIKE I LOST ROGER EBERT'S OSCAR POOL

    • and i was just mad that i couldn't find lilo OR stitch in the background

  • Brian Danger Long
    • WOOOOODDDYYYY

  • Spence Blazak
    • i was just updated that it was 20 years ago that magic johnson said he had AIDS......

    • BUZZZZZKIIIIIIILLLLLL

    • thank god that fucking bridesmaids didn't win

    • i want to see woody allen play clarinet in new york city so bad haha

  • Brian Danger Long
    • haha I'm just imaging him in his house like "Geez, you'd think after all this time I'd schedule these rehearsals for a different"

  • Brian Danger Long
    • "...night"

    • Different night is what I was going for

  • Spence Blazak
    • .....

  • Brian Danger Long
    • woof

    • long show

    • looooonnngggg

    • shhhhoooooooowwww

  • Spence Blazak
    • milla jovovish looks like an actress in a phone sex commercial

  • Brian Danger Long
    • Millia Jovavich, because Megan Fox was busy, I guess?

    • Far too true

  • Spence Blazak
    • harvey weinstein isn't front row? SOME INTERN WILL WAKE UP DEAD TOMORROW

  • Brian Danger Long
    • The Shore looks really good. That clip was the whole movie, right?

  • Spence Blazak
    • i hope so.....

  • Brian Danger Long
    • God is the Bigger Elvis should be your new band name

  • Spence Blazak
    • the camera guy had no idea where they were!!!!!! HAHAHAH

  • Brian Danger Long
    • "Wait...there's a short DOCUMENTARY too?!? Crap, crap!"-Camera guy

  • Spence Blazak
    • morgan freeman pays penguins to clap for him

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I would too! With that money

    • Alright, place your bets for actor/actress now, who's going to win?

  • Spence Blazak
    • dujardin and viola davis

    • or SPENCE BLAZAK FOR FROGGY IN THE FOREIGNOR VIDEO THE ACADEMY FOUND IN A DITCH FROM 2009

    • what do you think?

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I'm gonna go black horse with this: Gary Oldman annnnnnnd...yeah probably Viola, she seems to have this on lock.

    • *drunk Omkar sees Billy Crystal*: Is that Steve Busemi?

    • Me: Yes

  • Spence Blazak
    • hahahaha thats awesome. and tony blair is looking GREAT!

    • ahhhhhhh jessica chastain!!!!!!! LOVE MEEEEEEEEEE

  • Spence Blazak
    • this is bullshit. the artist can *censored*

  • Brian Danger Long
    • For best director winner, not Jessica Chastin

  • Spence Blazak
    • really brian? do you know how many women i am attracted to?

    • FIVE

    • oh......oh......you didn't mean......i was kidding about that last part HAHA

  • Brian Danger Long
    • she is...va-va-voom

  • Spence Blazak
    • oh okay

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I'll let your sentiments speak for me

  • Spence Blazak
    • HE FUCKING SET UP THE CAMERA AND LEFT

    • martin scorsese BLEEEEEEDS himself on camera!

  • Brian Danger Long
    • "From Star Wars, to Lion King...and to a lesser extent, Shakespeare..."

  • Spence Blazak
    • is the old makeup guy wearing his own makeup and he is actually 20?

  • Brian Danger Long
    • Probably. Just to prove that he EARNED IT.

  • Spence Blazak
    • poop in pie

  • Brian Danger Long
    • EARNED. IT.

  • Spence Blazak
    • lets stay together

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I agree, whoo boy, sad part

  • Spence Blazak
    • the best part of the oscars? it means tomorrow starts 5 months of shitty movies season!

  • Brian Danger Long
    • ...the afro is not helping Esperanza Spalding.

    • Not unless the Oscars see their shadow Spence

    • then we get two more weeks of mediocrity, before the next buzz season

  • Spence Blazak
    • its esperanza "justin bieber girls changed her wikipedia page" spalding!

    • and that was funny hahahah

  • Brian Danger Long
    • was she the one who won a grammy for, being, you know, actually talented

  • Spence Blazak
    • yes! one of the few

  • Brian Danger Long
    • this actors talking to the camera thing is painfully self indulgent

    • alright so actors....are we banking on Le Artist?

    • Yup. No surprise theeeere

  • Spence Blazak
    • i was rooting for myself......fuck

    • at least i won the blazak family oscar pool!

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I thought you had it bagged, at the very least it would have been a make-up Oscar for when you were snubbed for your work as Mayor Shin

    • and congrats, what do you win?

  • Spence Blazak
    • breakfast tomorrow......

  • Brian Danger Long
    • oh

    • that's

    • oh

  • Spence Blazak
    • remember that one time when the rising stars didn't give me an acting nomination "because i didn't have any costume changes"? cuz i do

    • im glad dujardin won. he was excellent. BUT george clooney did cry and kiss a corpse

    • i forgot how much the kings speech pissed me off for not being the social network

  • Brian Danger Long
    • Man, Colin Firth's elocution lessons have really paid off since last year.

  • Spence Blazak
    • glen close looks so creepy as a man

  • Brian Danger Long
    • yeah, she looks WAY better in Albery Noobs

  • Spence Blazak
    • stop taunting me with jessica chasten cutaways!!!! STOP ITTTTTT

    • meryl streep is lame

  • Brian Danger Long
    • Controversial Spence opinions

  • Spence Blazak
    • i was expecting colin firth to make a heath ledger joke. Disappointment of the night.

  • Brian Danger Long
    • Viola Davis shoulda pooped in a pie

  • Spence Blazak
    • sorry i was in the bathroom

    • and brian *puts hand on your shoulder* we should have ALL pooped in someone's pie

  • Brian Danger Long
    • that worked perfectly with my last comment

  • Spence Blazak
    • its because *puts other hand on your shoulder* we are perfect

    • together

  • Brian Danger Long
    • yeah

    • Harvey Weinstein is really bad at high fives

  • Spence Blazak
    • well, guess i don't need this anymore! *throws tv*

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I'm gonna go watch Walking Dead, so what did we learn tonight, Spence?

  • Spence Blazak
    • i love the best picture montage where its all the tender moments of the year.......then the fucking artist dancing

    • i learned that america sucks, and woody allen pulled a rick ross by screaming FUCK EM

  • Brian Danger Long
    • I learned ABOUT THE MAGIC OF THE MOVIES

    • I think

    • kay, time for bed, UNTIL NEXT YEAR Y'AL

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