By Brian Long
Adventure Time is one of the newest series from Cartoon Network. For those of you who have never seen it the best way I can describe it is it's like a game of Dungeons and Dragons where the Dungeon Master is a hyperactive 8-year-old. Oh and there's a shape-shifting magic dog who is voiced by Bender from Futurama. Okay, we all caught up? Good. Now, the main characters Finn and Jake have been on numerous adventures but in this list I have come up with the top 11 greatest-and probably most insane-things from this incredible show.
11. Billy's Theme Song (video)
Billy, as we learn from his theme song, is the greatest warrior ever. In this episode, Finn and Jake meet their hero but they discover that Billy has given up on trying to fight monsters. He explains to them that it is a Sisyphean task; if you save one damsel from a monster one day, who's to say she's not going to just caught by a different monster another day? What's the point? This existential crisis is being tackled in a kid's show. But the highlight of this episode is Billy's kick-ass theme song which proudly announces his accomplishments. Especially the fact that HE FOUGHT A BEAR!
10. Slime Princess (video)
Finn and Jake live in the magical land of Ooo which has about a million princess including Lumpy Space Princess, Bubblegum Princess, and Hot Dog Princess (I'm not joking). But the greatest princess has to be Slime Princess who, despite being a ball of slime, seems to get a lot of guys. She's even been seen making out with Crocodiles. Just don't let her find out you pee your pants. She won't want nothing to do with you.
9. Zombies (video)
The main princess in Adventure Time is Bubblegum Princess who rules over a magical land of candy inhabitants. In one episode, she invents a serum, because she's a scientist AND a princess, that accidentally turns her subjects into zombies. Thankfully, Finn and Jake save the day and turn everyone back to normal. Unfortunately, they realize that flesh is delicious! Seriously.
8. Finn vs. Water (video)
In this episode we learn our fearless hero has one weakness: water. The greatest scene from this episode is watching the way Finn's face contorts in horror when he sees the ocean. Check out the video link above.
7. Stanley the Watermelon (video)
There are a lot of great characters in Adventure Time, but the craziest one is Stanely the Watermelon. He is literally just a normal watermelon who has a family of various fruits. But apparently he gets himself into all kinds of trouble. The kind of trouble that Finn and Jake apparently have to burn down an entire town in order to save him from. And again, he's just a watermelon. Not even a cartoon watermelon with like a face that talks. HE'S JUST A WATERMELON.
6. Boom Boom Baby (video)
Finn is the only normal looking human character in the whole series and his origins are pretty mysterious. In one episode however, we get a hint as to how he became friends with Jake the dog. When Finn was young he was lost in the woods and fell into his own, um, "boom boom." Thankfully, a friendly dog couple found the young boy and took him in. The reason this scene makes the list is the fact that the male dog talks like he just stepped off the set of Mad Men and tells his wife: "don't expect any more sugar from me 'till you wash your dirty, dirty face." Classic.
5. Ice King Meets the Cosmic Owl (video)
The Ice King is Finn and Jake's archenemy. He is always kidnapping princess so he can marry them. As the series has progressed, we've come to realize that Ice King isn't bad, he's just really lonely and bad with women. It's kinda pathetic. But the craziest Ice King moment happens in his first episode when Jake knocks him out and he has an out of body experience where he meets the Cosmic Owl who gives him a diagnosis as to his problems: "you're a sociopath." Also, the Cosmic Owl has a southern drawl for some reason.
4. The Magic Man's Lesson (video)
Tons of kid's shows include episodes that contain special morals or lessons. Well, one episode of Adventure time featured a character called the Magic Man who turned Finn and several other heroes into grotesque shapes in the hopes of teaching them a "lesson." Finn tries everything including the ever important lesson to do good things not for personal gain, but for the betterment of your fellow man-which is definitely not the lesson the Magic Man was trying to teach him. Fed up, Finn tells the Magic Man that there's no point to any of this, he's just being a jerk. And that's the lesson. The Magic Man wanted to teach them that some people are just jerks for no reason. Kinda progressive for a kid's show, don't ya think?
3. Tree Trunks (video)
Tree Trunks is a tiny elephant who talks like 70-year-old pack a day smoker. She's a very sweet elephant though, and Finn and Jake try to help her achieve her dream of tasting the crystal apple. They succeed of course, and after Tree Trunks eats it, she explodes. Yeah, you read that right, she explodes. AND THAT'S THE END OF THE EPISODE.
2. Lumpy Space Princess (video)
Lumpy Space Princess is hands down the best character on this show. She's essentially a floating purple cloud and part of the race known as the Lumpy People. Her voice alone inspires hilarity, but what's amazing is the fact that the lumpy people represent obnoxiously wealthy suburbanite kids. All they care about is getting their parents car and going to the weekly "promcoming" dance. The writers of the show have brilliantly parodied the vapid youth you see on episodes of "Super Sweet Sixteen" through the Lumpy people. After watching this episode, you'll never be able to look at a mall the same way again.
1. The Mad Tart Totter (video)
Every year, Bubblegum Princess holds an annual tea party, the highlight of which are the royal tarts. These tarts are so delicious that she has to hire an escort to transport them to the castle to prevent them from being stolen. When Finn and Jake are asked to do this they are told that the previous royal tart totter went mad. It seems like a throwaway gag until the end of the episode when the Mad Tart Totter crashes the party looking for some one to eat the tarts that he brought (it's really just a pigeon and a squirrel). When everyone ignores him he delivers a monologue decrying the tea party for its hedonism and its exclusivity telling them that someday he'll return to make up for the lost high fives. It's somewhat beautiful and tragic. And then you realize this is a kid's show. And the most insane kid's show ever.
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