We’re back for another week of Degrassi! Two big things happened this week for Holly J and everyone’s favorite Red Sox player look alike, Drew. Let’s check out the breakdown.
Drew is still losing his mind over his fear of “gang retribution.” He’s totally fine though. He just takes out his anger by drawing guns in his notebook and yelling. You know, guy stuff. When the gym teacher reminds the Degrassi fight club that the gym is for EVERYONE Drew has a hissy fit that he can’t punch his friends into oblivion.
Adam decides to confront his brother about his major malfunction and Drew’s explanation is pretty simple: it’s fun! And HE CAN TOTALLY KILL THOSE GANG GUYS! Then he challenges Adam to a fight, which is a great idea since he’s biologically a girl. Drew decides the healthiest way to take out his rage is by challenging the hugest dude on the wrestling team to a fight. Seriously, this dude is huge, like Butterbean huge. Butterbean asks if he is into wrestling and Drew is like: “Nah I’m more of an MMA guy. I’ve been into it for like two weeks now…so…”
She-J. Jonah Jameson spots this, of course, and decides to investigate Drew in the only way she knows how: SEDUCTION. She’s like Lois Lane. Anything for a story It doesn’t matter how many uranium powered robots she’s gotta get past, she’s getting that by line!
Wait. Wasn’t Adam trying to get with this girl last week? So, why isn’t he really mad when his brother admits to him that he’s trying to mack it with She-JJJ? We’re just dropping that plot line? We’re gonna forget it? Alright Degrassi writers, the puck’s in your rink. She-JJJ tries to get Drew’s illiterate ass to write for the school paper but he can’t, he just wants to fight! He decides to go to an underground fight, because if X-Men 1 taught me anything it’s that Canada is full of cage fights, and proceeds to beat a man half to death. Thankfully She-JJJ is there to calm his Hulk rage with love. He decides to learn karate with her. Great idea. Fighting with the dude with rage problems.
Holly J’s kidneys are still dying as we are informed by an amazing expositionversation she has by Fiona. This is more or less exactly how it goes down:
“Ugh, I’ll never get to prom if my kidneys don’t get better.”
“It’s too bad your biological mom doesn’t want to give you her kidneys.”
“I know I was totally adopted.”
“Totally.”
Thankfully Fiona’s family just has money on demand whenever it is needed for scooters or organs. Unfortunately, Fiona’s mom can’t get the check written because it’s illegal. Which leaves me wondering would Fiona’s mom tell someone the check was for a kidney? Is that a box you check off in Canada on a form that says “under the counter organ exchange”? I thought Canadian health care was superior.
Holly J decides to confront her biological mom at the Dot (of course) and the kids are there. Are we really having the kidney conversation in front of her kids? Well, I’m sure she won’t say anything horri- oh Christ, she just called her kids mini-monsters. THEY’RE SITTING RIGHT THERE! These kids must be deaf.
So, Holly J returns home, defeated and kidney-less and to make things worse her prom dress makes her look like an amputee mermaid. Thankfully, help arrives in the form of a Deus Ex Dressina when Fiona decides to buy Holly J’s biological mom’s “vintage derp derp” prom dress for 20,000 dollars. Proving once again that all problems can be solved with money. Sweet, sweet money.
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