Today's Trailer Park focuses on two movies. One that doesn't hide the fact that it's a remake, the other is pretty much a remake of two different movies. Also, I realize just how weird Taylor Lautner's voice is.
Abduction (watch the trailer here)
Poor Talyor Lautner, it must be so hard being in high school and being well-off and good looking. These are problems I can relate to and empathize with! So, he's hanging out and eating dinner with his parents including his dad, Lucius Malfoy. Then two spies show up at the door with pretty scary voices and they murder them. It’s a good thing though that he found out that they weren’t his real parents and that he’s a missing child. Although according to that photoshopped picture on that missing child website (because what high school girl ISN’T looking at missing child websites for fun?) his eyes should be way more googly. Anyway, it turns out that Taylor Lautner is some kind of Jason Bourne/Spy Kids mix and Doctor Octopus is trying to kill him. But at this point, anything is better than Twilight.
Footloose Remake (watch the trailer here)
Woo-hoo! Dancing! Everybody’s having fun! And-whoa. Car accident. Okay. This got dark. Well, I’m sure the local municipal government will have a reasonable reaction to this. So they decide to…ban dancing? Really? So, the screenwriters of this remake thought this would be a good way to explain the dancing ban? They don’t think they would have passed stronger curfew laws? Crack down on underage drinking? Hire more cops? Develop better after school programs? Educate students on the dangers of drunk driving? Close down these abandoned and presumably dangerous lots where kids are dancing? No? We’re gonna ban dancing? Makes as much sense as, well, as remaking Footloose.
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